Inventory: “Enter” The Downfall

“Taking Inventory.” We all hear that phrase from time to time…

“Hey, what are you doing?” “Oh, I am just taking inventory of the food in the fridge before going out.” Or… “Oh, I am just taking inventory of my mental health, checking in with where I’m at.” Or… “Oh, I am just taking inventory of these jars. I like jars… Jars make me happy, especially when I count them.”

We hear this phrase all the time, and it makes sense. Inventory is an incredibly powerful and crucial word in our global cultures and languages. And I want to use this post to expand on this fascination with how our societies take Inventory of their lives and why it matters. As a provider of my business and personal health,  I get to have opportunities where I share how I relate to the struggles and victories of how paramount inventory is; physical, mental, and spiritual struggles that is…



This image depicts an artsy way of an “ad” I posted on social media the other day. I placed quotations around ad because it doesn’t feel like I am making ads, I’m making art. But let’s be honest, I say ad because its intention was to sell my work, so ad it is. The frame of the photo is appealing, the framework of the paintings are fun and you can see they are all not finished. Continual works of art. And the background is playful and classy feeling. Aesthetic. It’s eye-catching, and I believe I can sell my work as well. So, why invest time in making it an artsy photo to sell my art? I ‘unno, it felt really natural of a response in the moment. I had a vision of depicting my abstract art structurally and beautifully. Haha. I wanted my vision of this ad to work, and it does for me; I love the aesthetic grid. That’s what I wanted… So I did it. But first, I had take inventory… yes! no….! “Big Gulps eh? Whelp, see ya later.” …What evolved from this photo was something unanticipated, as well as these last couple sentences. I’ll give you a few minutes to recollect yourselves… Moving on!

What was unanticipated was I didn’t think taking photos like this would help me name my pieces! As if, the photo helped influence the pieces.. It is fun to name them this way.  I have a journal that has the title and numbering system for how I keep track of the pieces. Don’t give me that “old school” crap… I like it, so what?! … .. …I’m not old… It. Works. For. Me. 🙂

I was making these 10x10s and 12x12s by the handful every night, and I just wanted to express and paint… I didn’t have time to name them in the process. And naming these kinds of pieces are always hardest, but a name comes when it does and I respect the process. So anyway, I didn’t have time to name them, until i started studying the group photos more closely, and began finding the flow and the grouping really helped influence how I titled them. It just made sense to name pieces this way.

And I also realized that I can create an inventory portfolio through these images not just for internet ads… A way to take better look at my work away from an inventory system. I now have a photo I can come to that’s organized, instead of searching a physical inventory, or even a digital SKU/file name. I created titles based of the photo to begin with and connected to the photo in its entirety artistically, which only adds to the connection and memory it is creating. Having an eidetic memory also helps with this process. It is quite a process for sure, and I love that I am able to approach my art in this way.

Holy shit. This is exhausting… I’m tired… Let’s tomorrow yah?

Does any of you feel this drained when diving into Inventory? In any way, mentally, spiritually, physically?

Who said taking inventory would be fun? Do you guys enjoy doing inventory? Do you have to even like numbers to like doing inventory? I am not sure, but I imagine there are some people out there obsessed with numbers that enjoy taking inventory and I hope they’d like to help me out! Okay, listen number-people back there snickering, we all don’t get it, okay? We need your help!! Businesses fall hard, and often times do not recover when their inventory system crumbles, why? Simply in my mind, inflammation of a company… False reporting/growth… Laziness, unwillingness?! We see it happen all the time. Poor little businesses that don’t like numbers… Hell, even larger corporate businesses –  If you don’t do it, how will you survive as a growing business? Eventually, these practices lead companies to stumble through success until they become too stagnant and eventual death. That’s how! I kinda just scared myself… Doo-dee doo.. Taking physical inventory, however that is executed, is so important, and I encourage myself to do it as often as possible, as well as all of you. At the very least, it supports my mental capacities to maintain a healthy mind, and I imagine it would do the same for all of you.

How do you take inventory of your external lives? Your inner dialogues? Are you able to appreciate and recognize objects and values once they’re gone from sight, yet you know they exist? Or does the existence disappear when it goes out of sight? We (generally) were never given a manual on this and it seems taking inventory is always adjusting because WE ARE ALWAYS ADJUSTING. I can only express how I take inventory of my life and my own inner-dialogues. It seems a river is more fitting for how I approach this adjustingful phenomenon in my life. Which has led me to gain abilities to maintain a healthy lifestyle as priority; A healthy brain practice or mental-flexion as I like to call it. I do struggle with maintaining consistency in my external life (social things), and equally as so, my internal struggles feel worse because of victimizations I have allowed to take precedence over my life. I am not a victim. I like to look at my shifting life as my consistency and security. My ability to adapt. And this is a perspective of how I behave, as well as allow others to behave around me. And still, my inner dialogue remains intact no matter how adaptive my external life needs to be.

How do I take inventory of my mental health? Know my signals. Trust my signals are truth. I walk through certain things that are necessary, like making a reminder list of who I can talk to if things get bad. It’s easy to forget this list no matter how many times you look over it. So taking inventory of the ones closest to me that I can call is a check box I make sure happens when I am in tune with my signals. Some times, it comes on incredibly strong and unexpected. Like flicking a nerve. How do you prepare for these things? Well, practice. And trust. Trust in Love.

When do I take inventory of my mental health? Oh, it’s typically because I have been experiencing signs of shifting a little too intensely, or quickly, or too much even (the quantity of shifting without removing or burning away from within can build up quicker than we anticipate).  I have worked really hard at identifying when my light begins to dim, and to find the people I need to find. I have a great support system. Love! I take inventory of them too, a revelation that I didn’t see until a few years into my struggles. Taking inventory of friendship. It is important! I get to have them and share with them a part of my life that not everyone gets to see, and they know I can and will always come to them when I need help. So fucking cool! And I know the feeling is mutual. They know they can always come to me when they need help. These “roots” I call them, and the best in the business when it comes to Unconditional Love.

My mother has told me for years, even before I was diagnosed to “Be a Duck.” “Let the water wash over you and keep swimming.” Always and forever, mom. Be a Duck.

So… As we have slowly entered the downfall (Hah! I didn’t think I was gunna do it) and gone from talking about physical art  and my manual obsession with entering my inventory on paper to wrapping up about my mental health and the great support and love I feel. I feel that this will be a great place to end with Love. Also, I am noticing that my first sentence presents a downward vibe… slowly entered the downfall – i don’t know what I mean by it – it’s a catchy sentence and I went with it. However, the downfall is not my mental health and my loving supportive group, no no no. Haha, the downfall is how much effort it takes to even compile an inventory system in the first place. Downfall of business… Hi folks, don’t mind me and my explaining myself to myself why I should keep this damn sentence.


Have a good night friends,  Much Love





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