Transformation Manifestations

Hello there!

Something I want to be better at is writing in my blog. I want to make sure that my thoughts are being expressed clearly, and that there is good information here for my supporters to dig into. Love you all so much, thank you for taking time to hang out with me.

Well, let’s dive into it because transformations aren’t really the shyest of creatures, and yet, they are…

Some day, I am going to learn how to talk to you. Haha, I laugh at this because what I mean to say there’s a fine balance between stream of consciousness, which draws a certain audience in, and methodical writing, or structured writing that takes edits and processes and more edits, read-throughs… And see, this is the point where the mind has a choice to wander. Do I talk about stream of consciousness or do I talk about the more structured writing techniques. Either one will lead me down a path, and the third and fourth options are, talk about both, or talk about neither. And if you have stuck with me up to this point, bravo. It is getting complicated. Especially the things I am not able to depict to you without turning this into a book. And what I am talking about is how do I talk to you exactly to bring the most efficient audience for my work. Phew, made it to the point of that one. Let’s see if I can figure out why I wanted to bring this up. Holy cow… And that was just deciding on which way to talk to you, I didn’t even get into how each one would affect my audience. The details can go so deep. But why? Why do our brains think this way? And you know… I am realizing that I am not going to answer this question in this entry. Hah! Such a silly brain. I want to focus on transformations. The butterfly cannot see that it is a butterfly, but others sure do appreciate its beauty.

We are talking about transformations here,  ladies and gentlemen! The shedding that keeps us alive. Metamorphosis. Let me ask you something to reflect on. If you never transformed in your life. If you never shed, or grew, or learned. Would you be alive? Would your inner-spirit? Why is it necessary for transformations?

Transformations have no rules. There’s no rule with how to talk to my audience. I would say that a good practice would be along the lines of a professional one, a respectful one. I am not going to mistreat my audience and call them bitches. I could, and then who knows, now I am drawing a new audience. There are no rules how to talk to an audience.  And I have the power to transform my audience into something else. Fans. Hell, Bandaids even. I am presenting myself. Authentically. Awkwardly. That paragraph up there, wondering how I need to talk to you… What if I told you, this is how I think. For true. Scattered, nonsense. And in this moment of accepting it and leaving those words as they are, I am presenting my vulnerable self. Anxiety Nico would be editing and editing. They can’t hear my insecurities. My worries. And then I can literally transition into space rockets. To transform the ambiance of the entry? Sure, why not. let’s talk about space rockets.

Only because now you’re thinking of space rockets. Can you believe we have those damn things landing back safely on their own? It blows me away, no pun intended. Well kinda,intended… I did write it out. and kept it, right?? I hope to head up to mars one day in one of those rockets. the Moon, Mars, Jupiter… light speed in our lifetime? nah…Just crazy space rockets for now… And the words I am writing right now don’t have to truly mean everything,  granted, words are powerful, and you want to use them as efficiently as possible. So what are my words doing? They are powerful. And they are coming from a place of perceived truths. They guide. They help transform black and white lettering into colorful images in the consciousness of my oh so wonderful audience that has stuck through this entry. Love you guys!

Brains transform. Antlers shed. Caterpillars are now butterflys. Watching the season transform from winter to spring, and the new life it brings is so magical. The shedding of the old one. It is happening everywhere, naturally, 24/7. We as humans get incredible opportunities to experience our own transformations, we get to be there for others when they go through theirs, and we get to talk to people about it and share. We get to observe Mother Earth as she goes through her own. Snakes and spiders have their own creepy way of shedding, and we love watching it. There is not a time limit with how long a transformation will occur. Sometimes it takes a series of mini ones before the ultimate transformation can take place. Sometimes, they are pretty scheduled. We cannot stop transformations, as this entire universe is constantly shifting and moving. This painting used to be a psychedelic dripping neon cat. It is now a stratosphere in my heart. A true space cat losing its mind on LSD.  Say hello to “Stratosphere” an 11X14 abstract piece painted in 2017

“Stratosphere” seems to bring a sense of peace over me. That no matter what the situation is, I can always breathe, and start over, even if my canvas isn’t blank. Begin painting and paint myself a new scene. A new life. Transformations are scary because they leave behind something, but that something is only something that can’t be seen by others. Deep down, I can find my old self. I can find what I lost, if I wanted it back. I can manifest what I want when I am ready for it, and I can peel my layers as deep as I want. Whenever Iwant.  Transformations are also tricky because they indicate that what once helped me in the past, maybe a vice, may not be really help me in my present or future.

I am learning to trust my heart and my gut and searching for ways my intuition and intellect balance again.

until next time,





Flow: The Directional Path


Well, I want to take a second to paint a picture of some passion topics in my life. Flow is a very universal term, but you may have yet to come across it. You’re welcome! Flow, or flow-state is a state of mental capacity where time begins to lose its meaning or fail to exist, and the efficiency or flow of your movement and intention and focus are improved drastically. It’s the work flow, the play flow, the flow flow! And you very well have been searching for a way to tap into your flow. Flow… Flow flow.. Flow. Flow.

What if I told you that you have a subconscious flow and conscious flow. Some neuroscientists may even say this is what’s known as Macro and Micro Flow. Larger, more conscious efforts of Flow, and then the micro more subconscious areas of flow. Work would be a great example:

Let’s say you are a computer image-er and you have to evaluate, process, repair, process and image an OS onto a each and every single one of the 75 orders you got that day. Alright, game face time! 75 computers, and you manage to do all of this in an 8 hour shift before you go home. Macro flow would say focus on time management and how efficient you were physically with your time, ie: your fingers being used as finite tools to help unscrew and screw parts back together, or how accurate your tool is. Micro flow is more focused on the thoughts, data, and subconscious flow. Time management is also present here, but on a deeper level, to a point where time doesn’t exist, you just know how and when something has been imaged, or how long the OS took to install.

Sound crazy yet?

What if flow was a directional path. The easier you get in flow the more you know where you are heading. insight? Foresight?

I am not sure, but one could argue that it very well could be a directional path for you and your subconscious brain. If dance is where you find your flow, won’t you want to do it more? Won’t you want to hone your skill and discover the many elements of dance? Well, I think so. I think that when I discovered Fire Poi, I discovered my Flow Path to a better life, a healthier, happier life.

I began listening to my creative. I found music, and painting, and writing, and photography, massage even! I found these artistically creative aspects of life, and implemented them into my own. And now, I don’t find a day when I am not happy I have made the choices I have made, especially about my creative.

I want to leave this topic open for others. I think this is a great topic for creative aspects of life in general. Where have you found your flow-state? What did it feel like?

Another interesting topic, is there such a thing as right and wrong in a flow state? would the mind be able to know the difference?

I think it would. The mind is quick, that’s why a flow state even occurs. The mind is quick. In a flow state, would it even ALLOW you to make a wrong decision? bad decision? Immoral? I am not quite sure what the word I’m looking for is, but it is fascinating to think at just how much we let go when the flow-state has been activated, and how much we trust in ourselves to make the best of our flow-state time and focus.


*The painting depicted is “Every Which Way, Green Foreplay.” Created in 2016, the wooden frame that you see painted on was being decided on around this time. This painting was one of the reasons why I decided to make the frame my signature. I find flow in this piece. I see physical movement, and peace, and serene. I think this piece depicts My Directional Flow Path the best.